Kids Left Home... Now What?
I was left wondering the same thing when I dropped my firstborn at college 5 years ago.
My emotions were all over the place.
I could move from excitement to tears in a blink of an eye.
I felt anxious for my son's welfare but in reality…
I was anxious about myself.
I wanted to have a light heart, stop worrying, and be certain that he was safe and happy. This way I would feel free and would enjoy some of the new space and freedom I had in my life.
But I just couldn’t.
Despite my best attempts, the feelings of anxiety and loneliness wouldn't go away, even after overcompensating for my second son at home.
I realized that something needed to change, especially as my second son was going to leave home soon too, and if I didn't understand how to cope with this, it was going to get worse!
I thought of my mother.
I am the youngest of 3. and we all left the house almost at the same time. I remember how sad and lonely she was.
She was not exploring her new freedom because she didn’t want to miss our calls. I was witnessing her suffering and I suffered too because I didn’t know how to help her.
Now, I was in the same position as my mother and believed that the purpose of a mother is to worry for her children.
As I started to look deeper into my beliefs I started to understand more about myself and my relationship to my identity as a mother.
I got really curious and I began to reach out to other mothers and found out, I was not alone.
They too were feeling the symptoms of Empty-Nest Syndrome: feeling anxious, lonely, or without purpose.
After a long road of self-discovery and redefining this chapter for myself, here’s what I’ve come to understand:
This transition in life doesn’t need to be hidden, avoided, or denied.
- We can be so much more than a mother.
- We can make new friends.
- We can develop creativity and be enthusiastic about it.
- We deserve to have a fulfilled life.
Finally, I realized that my journey was a healing journey that helped me to find a balance between being a mother and a woman. There is room for both.
What is Empty Nest Syndrome (ENS)?
ENS is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time, such as to live on their own or to attend a college or university. It is not a clinical condition
Having an understanding of it gives the realization that...
1 - It is a normal feeling
2 - You are not alone
3 - Time will not ease the discomfort
Having an understanding of it gives the realization that...
1 - It is a normal feeling
2 - You are not alone
3 - Time will not ease the discomfort
If you are having the following,
You might be experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome.
You might be experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome.
1 - Emotional State
Becoming an empty nester can stir up a variety of emotions, you may be feeling:
- Sad that your child has grown up
- Angry at yourself for not being more available to them in the past
- Nervous about the state of your marriage
- Scared that you are growing older
- Frustrated that you are not where you imagined you would be at this phase in your life
- Anxious for your child's welfare
Whatever you feel is okay. Trying to deny your pain or suppressing your sadness won't make it go away, and could even make it worse by causing it to spring up at the wrong time or place.
Becoming an empty nester can stir up a variety of emotions, you may be feeling:
- Sad that your child has grown up
- Angry at yourself for not being more available to them in the past
- Nervous about the state of your marriage
- Scared that you are growing older
- Frustrated that you are not where you imagined you would be at this phase in your life
- Anxious for your child's welfare
Whatever you feel is okay. Trying to deny your pain or suppressing your sadness won't make it go away, and could even make it worse by causing it to spring up at the wrong time or place.
2 - Loneliness
Loneliness is the state of being alone and feeling sad about it. You can suddenly burst into tears as you clean your child's room or come across his/her favorite movie.
One of the roots of loneliness is the change in life. As your child is moving out or going to college, it is important to recognize the change and grieve it.
The consequence of loneliness will lead to a disconnection with others, yourself, and isolation. It might develop into depression.
Loneliness is the state of being alone and feeling sad about it. You can suddenly burst into tears as you clean your child's room or come across his/her favorite movie.
One of the roots of loneliness is the change in life. As your child is moving out or going to college, it is important to recognize the change and grieve it.
The consequence of loneliness will lead to a disconnection with others, yourself, and isolation. It might develop into depression.
3- Frustration over Lack of Control
As your child is living his/her own life, you cannot control and supervise it anymore. This lack of control leads to anxiety, anger, and frustration.
Although you have the best intentions, your adult child may resent what they see as an intrusion into their new independent life.
your role now should be one of an advisor rather than a constant source of instruction or correction in their life.
4 - Feeling of Rejection
As your child is leaving, you can feel rejected and it hurts. Separation doesn't mean rejection. It needs to be processed to avoid anxiety and depression.
5 - Feeling of NO Purpose
Now the hustle and bustle of raising kids is a thing of the past. Despite your friends, family, work, and other activities, your days may still feel a bit empty.
As your child is living his/her own life, you cannot control and supervise it anymore. This lack of control leads to anxiety, anger, and frustration.
Although you have the best intentions, your adult child may resent what they see as an intrusion into their new independent life.
your role now should be one of an advisor rather than a constant source of instruction or correction in their life.
4 - Feeling of Rejection
As your child is leaving, you can feel rejected and it hurts. Separation doesn't mean rejection. It needs to be processed to avoid anxiety and depression.
5 - Feeling of NO Purpose
Now the hustle and bustle of raising kids is a thing of the past. Despite your friends, family, work, and other activities, your days may still feel a bit empty.
How to go from being lonely & lost to fulfilled and renewed?
So if you’re feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or lonely after your kids leaving home, then this is for you!
I am on a mission to illuminate this new chapter in life with ease and confidence with my, Half-Day-Retreat:
“Self-Care for Empty-Nester”.
This is your opportunity to join an intimate community space with other like-minded mothers, make new friends, go within and design an exciting new vision for this new chapter!
I am on a mission to illuminate this new chapter in life with ease and confidence with my, Half-Day-Retreat:
“Self-Care for Empty-Nester”.
This is your opportunity to join an intimate community space with other like-minded mothers, make new friends, go within and design an exciting new vision for this new chapter!
In a gentle but transformational experience, you will be guided through this unique and powerful process of defining a new life and going from Mom to me again!
On this half-day retreat you will learn:
👉 Techniques to manage strong emotions
👉 How to step away from loneliness
👉 Tools to reconnect with yourself and others
We will do some gentle yoga movements, breathwork, guided meditation, and other self-reflection activities.
There will be time for sharing and a break with a little snack.
No previous experience in yoga is necessary to attend this retreat.
💥 Bonus: Learn how to clear what is holding you back right now.
Join me for this exquisite journey of self-discovery and transformation.
I'm so looking forward to meeting you, hearing your story, and working with you to start your new chapter!
Saturday, May 28th 2022
1:00 to 4:00 PM
Pilgrimage of the Heart Yoga
3287 Adams Avenue
San Diego
Spots are limited for a personal and intimate retreat.
Upon registration, You will receive an email with more details regarding the day.
1:00 to 4:00 PM
Pilgrimage of the Heart Yoga
3287 Adams Avenue
San Diego
Spots are limited for a personal and intimate retreat.
Upon registration, You will receive an email with more details regarding the day.
Testimonials:
"Dealing with my child soon flying the nest, as well as many other transitions I'm going through this year, I've been up to my eyeballs with anxiety and overwhelm. In a matter of hours, Sophie helped me release pent-up emotions and get to the bottom of my anxiety. I now feel equipped to handle these big life moments with tranquility. The retreat was the perfect blend of sharing what was on our minds, going within, and then physically releasing emotions through yoga and movement." - Susan G.
"Dealing with my child soon flying the nest, as well as many other transitions I'm going through this year, I've been up to my eyeballs with anxiety and overwhelm. In a matter of hours, Sophie helped me release pent-up emotions and get to the bottom of my anxiety. I now feel equipped to handle these big life moments with tranquility. The retreat was the perfect blend of sharing what was on our minds, going within, and then physically releasing emotions through yoga and movement." - Susan G.
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Interview with NourishDoc.
If you are curious to learn more about this transition,
I have a gift for you. Redeem a 30-minute session where I will help you to get clarity on the path forward so you can confidently reinvent yourself, without spending years in therapy or sacrificing your life.
If what I have to offer fit your need I will be glad to give you more details on my retreat or 8-week program.
Book your complementary call today.
With Love,
Sophie
I have a gift for you. Redeem a 30-minute session where I will help you to get clarity on the path forward so you can confidently reinvent yourself, without spending years in therapy or sacrificing your life.
If what I have to offer fit your need I will be glad to give you more details on my retreat or 8-week program.
Book your complementary call today.
With Love,
Sophie
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